hi again.

4 days of no blogging, and quite a bits gone on.

my aspects have changed, alot.
i'm now completely into nihilism, ya know?

nihilism..

total rejection of established laws and institutions.
anarchy, terrorism, or other revolutionary activity.
total and absolute destructiveness, esp. toward the world at large and including oneself.
annihilation of the self, or the individual consciousness, esp. as an aspect of mystical experience.

beautiful, eh?

on the other hand, my days are so much better than they used to be.
self improvement is at a peak, and it's working.

i plan to learn guitar.

goodbye.

really

don't give a flying fuck about anything anymore ;)

fucking

kill me, before i kill others.

they say

slow and steady wins the race.

i'm fucking liking slow and steady.
i felt as if i was just rushing in so much before, ya know?
but now, everything seems so much easier.
i'm getting to know before i make a fool out of myself ;P
it's good, real good.

been feeling a little under the weather lately, got a cold, stuffy nose and sore throat every now and then.
started working on improving myself so i feel more confident. showering twice a day instead of once, brushing my teeth twice a day instead of once, little things like that.
gym is really paying off; i feel more active than i used to, and i find sleep so much more replenishing. :)

the only thing i have to work on now is not relying on her to get me through the day, haha. seem to text her all the time, and although i like it, i'm damn sure she has her own life to deal with to, so i have to give her time to get on with that.

also gotta try not to come across as a bit of a crackhead, ahaha; very sorry for that. ;)

all in all, i'm seeing vast improvements in my lifestyle; and my spidey sense tingles for more success; hoooooooooooooaahhhh. ;D

I LOVE YOU!

i honestly

feel dead. :l
it's like i've got nothing to look forward to.
nothing to strive for anymore.
i've given up on everything, haha.
maybe one of these days i'll find something..
something that i have the slimmest chance of attaining.

i'm slowly turning back into my old self.
solitary, blunt, and serious in all aspects..
it's weird.
change was good, but i'd prefer being individualistic again; saves me alot of stress/hurt/etc.

if i had my way; everything would just fuck off.
fuck college, fuck the sun, fuck the sky, fuck me, fuck you.
fuck, everything.

nothing means anything anymore.

just

about ready to give up.

i'm really, really, really patient.
i just.. "can't wait forever".
haha.
wise words stefan, wise words.

i wanna curl up and just.. fall asleep for ever.

mm..

i like my mood. :)
today has been good, full of laughs.
ups and downs, the usual.
bring on the weekend, yeahhhhhhh?

I'll believe it all
There's nothing I won't understand
I'll believe it all
I won't let go of your hand

x